【 James’ Tips🔑】

【 James’ Tips🔑】
Today’s tip is on the importance of clear paragraphing.

The following example is by a typical Hong Kong DSE student who is targeting a 6.5 and has at the moment only a 5.0 approximately skill level.

➡Topic Question:

Many parents feel that competition should be encouraged among children. Others believe that other skills or qualities are more advantageous.
Discuss both these views and provide your own opinion.

📝📝<<Student sample (as shown)>>

✅❎James’ comment on the student’s work:
Parsing issues, ie, patient (adj.) or patience (n.)
Syntax and grammar issues.
Absence of linkers.
The essay is 1 giant block with no clear paragraphing.
The grammar has been corrected and linkers provided.

A better flow and progression of ideas, using only the same ideas in the essay, would have been:

Introduction: Paraphrase the topic; give a clear thesis statement.
Body 1: The benefits and drawbacks of competition.
Body 2: Cooperation as a superior alternative.
Conclusion: Reiterate why competition is not desired and why cooperation is a superior alternative.

Would you like to try?💯
Submit your task today for assessment. Must be submitted before the end of the day’s business hours.
Assessment will be emailed back to you.
📧 info@hkeel.hk

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Post Comments:

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